Wordle Limericks for the Month

418. GLEAN – 11 August 2022

His whereabouts we could not glean

He simply disappeared from the scene

It was pointless to search

For his scientific research

Was to invent a time machine

The time traveler is H.G. Wells*

At sci fi writing he truly excels

Predicting futuristic dimensions

And unheard of inventions

It’s unclear how he gleans what he foretells

(We’re uncertain if he used a witch’s spells)

#418  GLEAN:

*H. G. Wells (1866-1946) was a prolific English writer who is best remembered for his science fiction works. He is considered a futurist and visionary. Wells foresaw the advent of aircraft, space travel, tanks, nuclear weapons and television.

416. PATTY – 9 August 2022

1

Schulz’s* popular comic strip Peanuts

Was considered a work of pure genius

Peppermint Patty’s crush

On Charlie made him blush

Now let’s keep that just between us

(From this comic strip you couldn’t wean us)

2

Pat-a-cake pat-a-cake baker’s man

Bake me a cake as fast as you can

A well known nursery rhyme

We all outgrow in time

To change pat-a to patty I’m a fan

(As long as the cake is baked with elan)

#416  PATTY:

*(1) Charles Monroe Schulz (1922-2000) was an American cartoonist and creator of the comic strip Peanuts. He is widely considered one of the most influential cartoonists in history. The story follows the ups and downs in the life of hapless everyman Charlie Brown, his irascible pet beagle, Snoopy, and his eccentric group of friends, including the bullying Lucy and her younger brother Linus, who is never seen without his security blanket.

For February 2026

417. CLING – 10 August 2022

1

China’s last emperor of the dynasty Qing*    

Was to his throne unable to cling

Emperor at age two

At four they overthrew 

And kicked his little ass out of Beijing

(I bet that on him this left a ding)

2

The odor clung to the room for hours

Certainly not the smell of flowers

Before she departed

Angela* farted                       

At the last meeting of the superpowers

#417  CLING:

*(1) The Qing dynasty (1644-1911) was founded by the northeast Asian people, the Manchus, who conquered China in 1644. In 1911, a group of revolutionaries in southern China led a successful revolt against the Qing dynasty, thus ending the last dynasty and the imperial system. The last emperor and the eleventh of the Qing dynasty was Aisin-Gioro Puyi (1906-1967) who became emperor at the age of two in 1908. He was forced to abdicate in 1912. He later became the ruler of the Japanese puppet state of Manchukuo in the 1930s. The story is well told in the 1987 motion picture The Last Emperor, directed by Bernardo Bertolucci.

*(2)Angela Dorothea Merkle (b. 1954) is a German politician and scientist who served as Chancellor of Germany from 2005 to 2021.

412. BUGGY – 5 August 2022 For November 2025

1

Not owning a baby buggy never bugged me

Even my wife did fervently agree

But now we have triplets

With blond curly ringlets

We are going to have to buy three

(I hope not all want a degree)

(Can I afford it there’s no guarantee)

2

It is awfully buggy outside

From biting insects we’re unable to hide

So we’d better go in

Pour ourselves a gin

And scratch until the itching does subside

(Their attack I can no longer abide)
(I wonder what bugs taste like fried)

413. ALIEN – 6 August 2022

1

America’s influx of illegal aliens

Bye and large are not Episcopalians

Biden opened our border

Creating disorder

Are ten million new dependents our friends

2⬘

I saw an alien from outer space

I will never ever forget that face

Green with bloodshot eyes

A mouth of enormous size

In short he looked completely out of place

(To kiss him would be a disgrace)

3⬘

The experience was otherworldly

Her appearance was different overtly 

How could I refuse                       

To sexually fuse                                    

With an outer space alien absurdly 

412. BUGGY – 5 August 2022

1

Not owning a baby buggy never bugged me

Even my wife did fervently agree

But now we have triplets

With blond curly ringlets

We are going to have to buy three

(I hope not all want a degree)

(Can I afford it there’s no guarantee)

2

It is awfully buggy outside

From biting insects we’re unable to hide

So we’d better go in

Pour ourselves a gin

And scratch until the itching does subside

(Their attack I can no longer abide)
(I wonder what bugs taste like fried)

408. QUART – 1 August 2022

1

My job is to illegally transport

Alcohol in bottles by the quart

I’m Joseph P Kennedy*    

Committing a felony

Prohibition’s rules I routinely thwart

(While Gloria Swanson I do court)

2

There are 32 ounces to a quart

This amount I don’t wish to distort

In Britain it’s 1.13 liters

In America there are cheaters

You’ll get 0.94 liters a bit short

(Someone should take them to court) #408  QUART
        *(1) Joseph Patrick Kennedy (1888-1968) was an American politician, businessman, and investor. He was the patriarch of the Irish-American Kennedy family, which included John F. Kennedy, the 35th president of the United States. Although he earned large sums of money in the stock market, there are numerous claims that he was involved in bootlegging during prohibition.

886 PIXEL – November 22 2023

1

I tried to split a pixel
But it wasn’t fissile
I never gave up
This was just a hiccup
But further attempts proved abysmal
(The task was truly abyssal)

2

I never anticipated
He was pixelated
For he was counting pixels
While eating kosher pickles
So I participated
(Our brains were vermiculated)

3

In a matrix display device
The image is really nice
For each dot is made of pixels
All of which are interstitial
Which makes images concise
(A pixel cannot be spliced)

4

I wanted to view pornography
For that really appeals to me
But the pixels were bouncing
While the couple was pouncing
Now I’m reconsidering my misogamy
(To understand today’s limericks use a dictionary)

SIGHT – 15 November 2023

1
Our squadron took off in flight
Over Dresden* we used our bombsight
As we dropped our bombs
We were alerted by telecoms
The Luftwaffe’s * coming get ready to fight

2

Her figure is out of sight
Each nipple stands upright
She is tall and stately
Her leg are quite shapely
When with her I never turn out the light

3A

I fell in love with you at first sight*
For you were so lovely and bright
I became lost in your eyes
The color of blue skies
Now I still love you with all my might

3B

I fell in love with you at first sight*
For you appeared so lovely and bright
But you were in disguise
A deceptive guise
The real you caused me genuine fright

3C

I fell in love with you at first sight*
For you smelled so lovely and bright
Your breast were oversize
I wound up between your thighs
You were perfect but only for one night

4

What is the difference between sight and site*
If you’re uncertain don’t get uptight
Sight reveals what you see
Site tells you where to be
If you didn’t know that it’s perfectly alright

Footnotes:

*(1) The WWII bombing of Dresden was a joint British and American aerial bombing of the city of Dresden, the capital of the German state of Saxony. In four raids between February 13 and 15, 1945, 1299 heavy bombers of the RAF and USAF dropped more than 3,900 tons of bombs on the city. The bombing and the resulting firestorm destroyed more than 1600 acres of the city center. 25,000 people were killed. This event is well described in Kurt Vonnegut’s novel Slaughterhouse Five which he based on his personal experience as a prisoner of war who was in Dresden at this time.
*(1) The Luftwaffe (German “air weapon”) was the branch of the armed forces tasked with the air defense of Germany. It was created in 1935. By the beginning of WWII, the Luftwaffe was considered the best air force in the world. The 3 million men who served in the Luftwaffe were led by Hermann Göring. It was disbanded by the victorious Allied powers in 1946.
*(3) The 3 limericks numbered 3A, 3B and 3C are nearly identical in the first 2 lines. Lines 3, 4 and 5 differ in each which in combination with a modification of one word in the second line results in limericks with completely different meanings and feeling.
*(4) Site in a noun meaning location. Sight is both a noun and a verb that refers to seeing. They are homophones.

1474 INCUR – 2 July 2025

1

Elon is a genius and entrepreneur
Who much unwanted aggravation did incur
When he led DOGE*
His income did erode
Was his cost cutting really de jure*

2

Einstein’s first wife Mileva Marić*
Was a bit enigmatic
She did all his math
So not to incur his wrath
Assigning her due credit proved problematic

3

She had lovely long golden blond hair
With her I hoped to have an affair
When her attention I solicited
She was disinterested
All I saw was a blank incurious stare
(She never even bothered to glare)

4

The news was completely unendurable
My loathed disease was hopelessly incurable
My enormous hemorrhoids
Won’t respond to steroids
My agony will be quite unbearable
(Will I soon become uninsurable)

5

I was invited to dinner by Jane
Which turned out to be quite a shame
When her dog farted
I quickly departed
For I incurred the undeserved blame

*(1) The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) is an initiative by the second Trump administration whose stated objective is to modernize information technology, maximize productivity, and cut excess regulations and spending. It emerged from discussions between Donald Trump (b. 1946) and Elon Musk (b. 1971) in 2024 and was established by executive order on January 20, 2025. Musk headed DOGE for 3 months.
*(1) “De-jure” is a Latin term meaning “by law” or “by right”. It refers to something that is legally recognized or formally established, often in contrast to what exists in practice (de-facto). In legal and political contexts, it highlights the formal or official status of a situation, even if it differs from reality.

*(2) Mileva Marić (1875-1948) was a Serbian physicist and mathematician. One of her colleagues at the Zürich Swiss Federal Polytechnic was her future husband Albert Einstein, to whose early work Maricć is thought to have contributed (in particular his important annus mirabilis papers). The degree of her contribution is uncertain and debated, however many authorities believe her contributions were significant. She never was listed as a co-author or given acknowledgement by Einstein when he published his important 1905 papers.

1406 SHUSH – 5 May 2025

1

Should I tell her to shush
Or better to tell her to hush*
Either one will do
Her blabbing to undo
Quelling her verbal gush

2

The word shush mimics the action
Of a silencing transaction
With oral diarrhea
Use onomatopoeia*
To quiet someone to your satisfaction

3

Are you trying to shush me
Or are you trying to hush me
When your index finger
On your lips does linger
It feels like you’re trying to crush me
(Did you notice shush is a word with symmetry)

4

John Newberry wrote it on the fly
The Hush-a-bye Baby lullaby*
If instead of using hush
He chose to use shush
Babies would still fall asleep by and by
(It might have been better for babies that cry)

5

Don’t you dare try to shush me
Never attempt to rush me
You are not my boss
You seem at a loss
To understand that I am your mommy

6

When making love don’t make me blush
Be careful not to rush
Don’t act like a jock
Never fantasize and talk
Or I will tell you SHUSH!

7

It is very possible to shout
The word hush there is no doubt
But not the word shush
For it turns to soft mush
Try to notice how words from your mouth do spout

*(1) Hush and shush are used to tell someone to be quiet, but shush is considered more informal and can be used as a sound effect mimicking the action of making someone quiet. Hush can be more formal or used in a more serious controlled situation.

*(2) Onomatopoeia (echoism) is a type of word that phonetically imitates, resembles, or suggests what it describes. Common onomatopoeias in English include animal noises such as oink, meow and chirp among other sounds such as hiccup, achoo, and beep.

*(4) “Hush-a-bye Baby” is perhaps the best known lullaby in the English language, often sung to the tune of Henry Purcell’s (1659- 1695) quickstep Lillibullero. It first appeared in print in John Newbery’s Mother Goose’s Melody. Newberry (1713-1767) was an 18th century English bookseller, publisher and writer of children’s books who is called The Father of Children’s literature.

733 TASTE – June 22 2023

1

My offer was not in good taste
Perhaps it was even misplaced
When I requested she undress
So we could coalesce
She considered my suggestion unchaste
(That is why we never embraced)

2

You have lovely red lips I long to taste
Your buxom breasts I long to embrace
Your scent is honey dew
I am magnetically drawn to you
How tragic my arms can’t encircle your waist

3

I wonder if you learned from your mommie
There are five tastes including umami
There is sweet and sour to consider
Also salt and finally bitter
How many of these has salami
(If you recognise any then you are balmy)

4

There once was a man from Manilla
Who had enormous lingual papillae
His taste sensing was extreme
His girlfriend’s living dream
With oral sex he could always fulfill her