Wordle Limericks for the Month
Wordle Limericks for the Month of November
Wordle Limericks for the Month of October
891 TAWNY – 27 November 2023
1
When Pablo Picaso* saw me
He desperately wanted to draw me
His main interest was pubic
He painted me cubic
With hair both exuberant and tawny
(He was incredibly horny)
2
The male lion was big and brawny
His mane was lush and tawny
Yet he never hunted to feast
On zebra or wildebeest
He preferred to eat kosher salami
(On occasion corned beef or pastrami)
3
The distinction between ruby and tawny port*
A ruby’s aging in the bottle is short
A tawny in barrels of oak
Much longer does soak
Ruby red verses tawny brown color I report
4
The hair on her head was tawny
For her I was terribly horny
Her lanugo* was black
Covering her back
While the hair on her pubes was scrawny
(That’s all the hair in her inventory)
Wordle Limericks for the Month of September
1115 SHAPE 8 July 2024
1
It is impossible for me to escape
My congenital rotund shape
With which I was born
Oh it makes me forlorn
I wish I was not a grape
2
When they pluck me from my tree
And squeeze the hell out of me
My shape will become flat
I’ll be placed into a vat
Soon I’ll be a nice chablis
(To be enjoyed with a slice of brie)
3
As liquids take the shape of their container
I’ll soon be put through a strainer
To be shaped like a wine bottle
To be laid down horizontal
After a cork becomes my restrainer
4
Next into a refrigerator
By a well trained wine curator
The shape of a glass I’ll soon assume
Sip by sip I will be consumed
Just a few minutes later
(Perhaps at a passover seder)
Wordle Limericks for the Month of August
1091 VAULT – 14 June 2024
1
If you check your vault of heaven chart*
You can predict how your day will start
Vedic astrology
Using questionable psychology
Can predict when you’re going to fart
2
To great heights he has soared
The highest pole vault on record
Held by Mondo Duplantis*
Achieved by hard practice
An achievement all his fans do exalt
3
I and my bank co-worker Heather
Were locked in the bank’s vault together
We had nothing to do
So we decided to screw
When released we spoke of this never(A new meaning of safe sex however)
*”Vault of the Heavens” is an ancient romantic term for the celestial heavens, where the planets, signs and stars reflect your life and your destiny. By plugging in the date, time and location of your birth into a Vedic astrology chart calculator, your future can be predicted.
*Sweden’s Armand Duplantis holds the world record in pole vaulting. In 2024, he set his eighth world record in this discipline at 6.24 meters (20 ft. 5 in.), a full 8 centimeters higher than anyone else has ever achieved.
Wordle Limericks for the Month of July
710 KNEEL – May 30 2023
1
Sir Lancelot kneeled before his king
To be knighted what a wonderful thing
But King Arthur was unaware
That his wife sweet Gwenivere
With Lancelot was having a fling
2
When God created the snake and eel
He intended that they never kneel
But always slither on their belly
Silently moving like sinuous jelly
Their vulnerable soft spot to skillfully conceal
Wordle Limericks for the Month of June
369 BRINK – June 23 2023
1
The world was at the brink of war*
Nuclear missiles placed off Florida’s shore
For the Cuban missile crisis
Involved nuclear devices
We were closer to the brink than ever before
2
Just like in act 5 scene 8 of Macbeth
I was at the brink of death
For I could not flee
When you drew close to me
I almost died from the smell of your breath
Wordle Limericks for the Month of May
Photo by Jose Manuel Gonzalez Lupiañez Photography
1015 FORCE – March 30 2024
1
Force equals acceleration times mass
That’s what I learned in physics class
Isaac Newton* foresaw
Motion’s second law
His genius few could ever surpass
2
It follows then if you should pass gas
It’s true it does not have much mass
Yet it can have enough force
To put a hole in your shorts
While evacuating the room really fast
Wordle Limericks for the Month of April
992 CLONE 7 – March 2024
1
If I could make from my cell a clone
I would not have to be all alone
My duties I could shirk
He could do all my work
I could spend all my time screwing Joan
2
But if he and Joan should meet
Would she find him just as sweet
I would have to be discreet
And take a back seat
While he sweeps her of her feet
3
Would I then be jealous of him
After all he is much more than my kin
Will Joan compare us
Or willingly share us
And decide whom to screw on a whim
(Will she call him by my eponym)