August: 1091 VAULT 14 June 2024

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

If you check your vault of heaven chart*
You can predict how your day will start
Vedic astrology
Using questionable psychology
Can predict when you’re going to fart

To great heights he has soared
The highest pole vault on record
Held by Mondo Duplantis*
Achieved by hard practice
An achievement all his fans do exalt

I and my bank co-worker Heather
Were locked in the bank’s vault together
We had nothing to do 
So we decided to screw
When released we spoke of this never(A new meaning of safe sex however)

Footnotes:

1091  VAULT

*”Vault of the Heavens” is an ancient romantic term for the celestial heavens, where the planets, signs and stars reflect your life and your destiny. By plugging in the date, time and location of your birth into a Vedic astrology chart calculator, your future can be predicted. 

*Sweden’s Armand Duplantis holds the world record in pole vaulting. In 2024, he set his eighth world record in this discipline at 6.24 meters (20 ft. 5 in.), a full 8 centimeters higher than anyone else has ever achieved.