Wordle Limericks for the Month
Wordle Limericks for the Month of April
597 NINTH – 6 February 2023
1
When Beethoven* composed his ninth symphony
He had an interesting epiphany
He would use a vocal chorus
So his music would not bore us
It’s now the best example of polyphony*
2
It is the last half of the ninth inning
And the Pittsburgh Pirates are winning
Babe Ruth is up to bat
Now he spits and tips his hat
A home run now would keep Yankee fans grinning
3
What is two to the ninth power
To figure this out shouldn’t take an hour
The answer is five hundred and twelve
No further need to delve
Mathematical prowess really does empower
Footnotes:
*(1) Ludvig van Beethoven (1770-1827) was a German composer and pianist. He was one of the most admired composers in the history of Western music. His last and ninth symphony in D minor, composed between 1822 and 1824, was the first symphony to include choral voices in its finale: called “Ode to Joy”. Due to Paget’s disease of the skull, his eighth cranial nerves were compressed, resulting in complete deafness by the time he composed this final symphony.
*(1)Polyphony is a musical texture that features two or more equally prominent melodic lines played at the same time.
Wordle Limericks for the Month of March
587 WORRY – 27 January 2023
1
The discoverer of radium Madame Curie*
Two Nobels reflect the favor she did curry
From radiation she never did hide
So from leukemia she died
About exposure risk she never did worry
2
What me worry is an Alfred E Neuman* quote
Its intended purpose Mad Comics to promote
This magazine was the purest satire
Of its humor readers never did tire
It’s amazing how much laughter it could evoke
*(1) Maria Salomea Skłodowska-Curie (1867-1934) was a Polish-French physicist and chemist who conducted pioneering research on radioactivity. She was the first woman to win a Nobel Prize and the first person to win a Nobel Prize twice (Physics-1903 and Chemistry-1911), and the only person to win a Nobel Prize in two scientific fields. She is credited with the discovery of radium and polonium. She died of leukemia attributed to her work with radioactivity.
*(2) Alfred E. Neuman is the fictitious mascot and cover boy of the American humor magazine MAD. The gap tooth cover boy’s motto “What, me worry” became the catchphrase of teenage readers in the 1950’s. The E stands for enigma.
Wordle Limericks for the Month of February
453 DOUBT 15 – September 2022
1
Why is it that you doubt
That I love Guinness Stout
I know it seems queer
I’ll never again drink beer
In abstention AA* members are devout
(My love for it remains even without)
2
I still have my moments of doubt
Something I never talk about
For to quote Robert Frost*
A road not taken’s forever lost
Yet I wonder what if I chose the other route
(Thinking about this can make me pout)
(But isn’t that what life’s really about)
*A.A. is Alcoholics Anonymous, an organization founded in 1935 whose mission is to help alcoholics stay sober for the remainder of their lives.
*“The Road Not Taken” is a popular narrative poem written by the American poet Robert Lee Frost (1874-1963) and published in 1916. This poem argues for the importance of our choices, both big and small as they shape our journeys through life.
Wordle Limericks for the Month of January
Photo by Angelica Kauffmann/ Wikimedia Commons
1262 GUILE – 2 December 2024
1
I know a Russian by the name of Mikhail
Who is always so full of guile*
He is never hostile
And will always smile
Beware his cajolery and wile*
(He will surreptitiously corrupt and defile)
2
I am beguiled by Alice’s smile
I have always been not just for awhile
When she took off her pants
Boy did she did entrance
What a truly lovely epicondyle*
(I’m an orthopedist and she’s a juvenile)
3
The gorgeous ancient Greek courtesan Phryne*
Did not have that much to say
At her famous trial
The judges she did beguile
When her lawyer took all her clothing away
(Her beautiful body was on display)
(Her beauty proved her innocence that day)
4
You have beguiled me forever and a day
For years you told me to go away
Finally one day
Your nakedness was on display
I discovered your pubic hair had turned grey
(You waited too long to my dismay)
(My desire for you was now passe)
*Guile is deceitful cunning; duplicity
*A wile is a trick or stratagem intended to ensnare and deceive. Also a beguiling or playful trick.
*Condyle and epicondyle both refer to parts of bones. The condyle is the smooth surface area at the end of a bone that forms part of a joint (knee and elbow). The epicondyle is a rounded protuberance at the end of a bone, serving as a place of attachment for ligaments, tendons, and muscles.
*Phryne (pronounced Free-nay) was born around 371 BC in Thespiae but spent most of her life in Athens. Because of her stunning looks, she became a model posing for painters and sculptors. As a famous courtesan she had an unusual amount of freedom, was well educated and was intelligent. She became rich and powerful. She was prosecuted on a capital offense and was defended by the orator Hypereides (390 BC-322 BC), who was one of her lovers.
Hyperides tore off Phryne’s dress in the middle of the courtroom to show the judges her beautiful body. His argument to them was that only the gods could sculpt such a beautiful body; thus, killing or imprisoning her would be seen as blasphemy and disrespect to the gods. What appeared to be an unfavorable verdict for Phryne turned into a glorious victory. Phyne walked out of court triumphant, thus inspiring many works of art, including the iconic 1861 painting, Phryne before the Areopagus by Jean-Léon Géôme (1824-1904) and the sculpture by Albert Weine (1915-1991), Phryne Before the Judges, (1948). The composer Camille Saint-Saëns (1835-1921) wrote the opera Phryne (1893).
Wordle Limericks for the Month of December
936 BRIEF – 11 January 2024
1
My underwear is called a brief
In Genesis to my disbelief
In the Garden of Eden
There was no winter season
So Adam and Eve wore just a fig leaf
2
His words are concise and brief
Biting with a folksy motif
Senator John Neely Kennedy
His quotes are a remedy
Providing anti woke comedic relief
3
Infinity is but a brief period of time
Perhaps this is by God’s grand design
For our lives are so fleeting
As was everything preceding
We are but a flash of light barely able to shine
Wordle Limericks for the Month of November
Wordle Limericks for the Month of October
891 TAWNY – 27 November 2023
1
When Pablo Picaso* saw me
He desperately wanted to draw me
His main interest was pubic
He painted me cubic
With hair both exuberant and tawny
(He was incredibly horny)
2
The male lion was big and brawny
His mane was lush and tawny
Yet he never hunted to feast
On zebra or wildebeest
He preferred to eat kosher salami
(On occasion corned beef or pastrami)
3
The distinction between ruby and tawny port*
A ruby’s aging in the bottle is short
A tawny in barrels of oak
Much longer does soak
Ruby red verses tawny brown color I report
4
The hair on her head was tawny
For her I was terribly horny
Her lanugo* was black
Covering her back
While the hair on her pubes was scrawny
(That’s all the hair in her inventory)
Wordle Limericks for the Month of September
1115 SHAPE 8 July 2024
1
It is impossible for me to escape
My congenital rotund shape
With which I was born
Oh it makes me forlorn
I wish I was not a grape
2
When they pluck me from my tree
And squeeze the hell out of me
My shape will become flat
I’ll be placed into a vat
Soon I’ll be a nice chablis
(To be enjoyed with a slice of brie)
3
As liquids take the shape of their container
I’ll soon be put through a strainer
To be shaped like a wine bottle
To be laid down horizontal
After a cork becomes my restrainer
4
Next into a refrigerator
By a well trained wine curator
The shape of a glass I’ll soon assume
Sip by sip I will be consumed
Just a few minutes later
(Perhaps at a passover seder)
Wordle Limericks for the Month of August
1091 VAULT – 14 June 2024
1
If you check your vault of heaven chart*
You can predict how your day will start
Vedic astrology
Using questionable psychology
Can predict when you’re going to fart
2
To great heights he has soared
The highest pole vault on record
Held by Mondo Duplantis*
Achieved by hard practice
An achievement all his fans do exalt
3
I and my bank co-worker Heather
Were locked in the bank’s vault together
We had nothing to do
So we decided to screw
When released we spoke of this never(A new meaning of safe sex however)
*”Vault of the Heavens” is an ancient romantic term for the celestial heavens, where the planets, signs and stars reflect your life and your destiny. By plugging in the date, time and location of your birth into a Vedic astrology chart calculator, your future can be predicted.
*Sweden’s Armand Duplantis holds the world record in pole vaulting. In 2024, he set his eighth world record in this discipline at 6.24 meters (20 ft. 5 in.), a full 8 centimeters higher than anyone else has ever achieved.
Wordle Limericks for the Month of July
710 KNEEL – May 30 2023
1
Sir Lancelot kneeled before his king
To be knighted what a wonderful thing
But King Arthur was unaware
That his wife sweet Gwenivere
With Lancelot was having a fling
2
When God created the snake and eel
He intended that they never kneel
But always slither on their belly
Silently moving like sinuous jelly
Their vulnerable soft spot to skillfully conceal