Photo by Angelica Kauffmann/ Wikimedia Commons
I know a Russian by the name of Mikhail
Who is always so full of guile*
He is never hostile
And will always smile
Beware his cajolery and wile*
(He will surreptitiously corrupt and defile)
I am beguiled by Alice’s smile
I have always been not just for awhile
When she took off her pants
Boy did she did entrance
What a truly lovely epicondyle*
(I’m an orthopedist and she’s a juvenile)
The gorgeous ancient Greek courtesan Phryne*
Did not have that much to say
At her famous trial
The judges she did beguile
When her lawyer took all her clothing away
(Her beautiful body was on display)
(Her beauty proved her innocence that day)
You have beguiled me forever and a day
For years you told me to go away
Finally one day
Your nakedness was on display
I discovered your pubic hair had turned grey
(You waited too long to my dismay)
(My desire for you was now passe)
Footnotes:
*Guile is deceitful cunning; duplicity
*A wile is a trick or stratagem intended to ensnare and deceive. Also a beguiling or playful trick.
*Condyle and epicondyle both refer to parts of bones. The condyle is the smooth surface area at the end of a bone that forms part of a joint (knee and elbow). The epicondyle is a rounded protuberance at the end of a bone, serving as a place of attachment for ligaments, tendons, and muscles.
*Phryne (pronounced Free-nay) was born around 371 BC in Thespiae but spent most of her life in Athens. Because of her stunning looks, she became a model posing for painters and sculptors. As a famous courtesan she had an unusual amount of freedom, was well educated and was intelligent. She became rich and powerful. She was prosecuted on a capital offense and was defended by the orator Hypereides (390 BC-322 BC), who was one of her lovers.
Hyperides tore off Phryne’s dress in the middle of the courtroom to show the judges her beautiful body. His argument to them was that only the gods could sculpt such a beautiful body; thus, killing or imprisoning her would be seen as blasphemy and disrespect to the gods. What appeared to be an unfavorable verdict for Phryne turned into a glorious victory. Phyne walked out of court triumphant, thus inspiring many works of art, including the iconic 1861 painting, Phryne before the Areopagus by Jean-Léon Géôme (1824-1904) and the sculpture by Albert Weine (1915-1991), Phryne Before the Judges, (1948). The composer Camille Saint-Saëns (1835-1921) wrote the opera Phryne (1893).
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